something's rotten in denmark

I've always suspected I am a victim of multiple personalities - I mean, how could someone like demolition derbys AND broadway, roller derby AND art museums, country music AND punk pop, camping AND 4 star hotels, country towns AND big cities, Walmart AND Nordstrom? I love everything. Everything is my favorite.

While my multiple personality disorder was suspected it was never confirmed until the other day as I was working with a darling British girl who was in town from New York. She asked me where I was from. This question always throws me into a bit of a panic because I'm never quite sure what question they're really asking. Do they mean 'Where were you raised?' or do they mean 'What is your ethnic background?' I never know. See, if I know people are asking the latter question I kind of like to mess with them and answer "Utah" just to watch them squirm a bit until they figure out how to ask the question correctly. This time around I went with the standard answer.

"I'm from Utah."

Her follow up to my answer was NOT expected.

"Oh really? I would have guessed you were from, like, Denmark or something."

Denmark? Really? I'd never gotten that one before. But then it hit me. A realization that was both embarassing and wildly entertaining.

I have a Utah accent.

It's true. While my friend and family would most likely disagree with me (because my everyday accent is not Utahn) it is nevertheless true. See, I have this thing that I do when I am trying to sound professional or am around people upon whom I'm trying to make a good impression. I subconsiously adopt a fake accent. I try to speak clearly and confidently but what it comes out sounding like is a Utah accent. Did you catch the irony in that statement? When trying to sound smart and educated I come out sounding exactly the opposite. My professional personality is apparently a small town Utahn.

It hit me then and there that I've been doing this for years without realizing it. Kind of like how half way through the mission I realized that when I spoke french I spoke with a higher voice to sound... I dunno... more french (though everyone thought I was either from Canada or the Netherlands).

I suppose a NY based Brit wouldn't really know what a Utah accent sounds like so the closest thing she could guess was Danish. Why can't I adopt something more sophisticated like her darlin british accent? No... I choose to go back to my roots... or 'rhuts' as we'd say up 'Narth'.

Now that I know I do this am I going to stop? Nope. Why? Because, I love Utah. Also, because the fake accent totally aligns with my plans of one day becoming legit crazy.