27 June 2006

Official Declaration

I hear by declare that I will no longer be attending wedding affairs* during the year 2006 including but not limited to the following: Bridal Showers, Sealings, Receptions, Ring Ceremonies, etc.

In 2005 I participated in the weddings of 8... yes EIGHT!... very dear friends, not to mention attendance of sundry receptions of not so very dear friends. On the eve of wedding #8 I hit wedding overload and had it not been the wedding of friend and family I would have bailed on it. I went. I participated. I celebrated. And then, I staged a boycott on all weddings in 2006.

Well, I didn't live up to my boycott. 2006 year to date wedding tallies:
Showers - 5 (oh the humanity!)
Sealings - 2
Receptions - 5
Ring Ceremonies - 1

That's quite enough people! I just can't take it anymore. If the wedding doesn't involve me as the bride I will have nothing to do with it. So, if you consider yourself family and/or dear friend and will be wed in 2006 then plan on me not being there. Sorry. That's just the way the boycott rolls.

* unless gainfully employed by "As You Wish Catering"

I'm sure you want to know...

I got new deodorant.
It is Secret Moonlit Rose.
It's very potent.
It smells good. But,
It's weird smelling my armpits.
I keep wondering who's perfume it is.
I tell you this because,
I know you care.

21 June 2006

World Cup Boyfriends

Call if favoritism but if you're a guy and you tell me you play soccer, suddenly your appeal will increase seven fold. Is it no wonder that I'm in love with most of the World Cup players?

My World Cup Boyfriends (in no particular order):
  • Kasey Keller, US Keeper
  • Carlos Bocanegra, US Defender
  • Ze Roberto, Brazil Midfielder (cool hair)
  • Jose Antonio Reyes, Spain Midfielder
  • Alessandro Del Piero, Italy Forward
  • Fabio Cannavaro, Italy Defender
  • Alexander Frei, Suisse Forward
  • David Beckham, England Midfielder
  • Joe Cole, England Midfielder
  • Michael Owen, England Forward
  • Olof Mellberg, Sweden Defender
  • Marcus Allback, Sweden Forward
  • Fredrik Ljungberg, Sweden Midfielder
  • The whole of the Austrailian National Team


Flashback to 1994. I was an innocent 16 year old discovering the beauty that is the FIFA World Cup. I knew every player on the US Mens National Team. I was their biggest fan. I kind of had a crush on the Keeper, Tony Meola. I thought Kobi Jones had the coolest name ever and decided that if I ever get a dog I'm going to name it after him. I loved them all. But, my favorite was the Defender, Alexi Lalas. One of the most recognizable players in US Soccer history, he was best known for his outrageous long red hair and matching goatee. I think I liked him because he was so odd looking.

Flashforward to the year 2006. I am a less innocent 24 year old (don't even try to do the math) reveling in the beauty that is the FIFA World Cup. This time around I don't know everyone on the US National Team, however my recognition of international players has dramatically increased. The biggest surprise of World Cup thus far has had nothing to do with the soccer, futbol, or football itself. But this:

WHAT? Alexi Lalas is good looking?

Lalas is serving as a World Cup commentator on ABC sports alongside fellow US Soccer greats Eric Wynalda and Julie Foudy. When I first saw him I was shocked and amazed... and quite pleased. I never would have guessed a haircut and a shave could transform this once dirty hippie into something easy on the eyes. As much as I love watching the matches live on Univision, where the only thing I understand is "GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!!!!!" or "GOL! GOL! GOL! GOL! GOL! GOL! GOL! GOL! GOL! GOL! GOL! GOL! GOL!", I'll look forward to watching the live games on sunday mornings broadcast in english with the half time commentary by my new soccer boyfriend. Thank you Lalas!