Currently...

LISTENING:  to the sound of the newly repaired air conditioner cooling down the house again. cool air never felt so good.

EATING: carrots, celery and ranch dip. trying to be healthy but the ranch is probably negating my efforts.

DRINKING: nothing. should be drinking water! one can never get enough water in the desert.

WEARING: noon and i'm still in my pajamas. not proud of myself in this moment.

READING: just finished "downward facing death" (the best worst book ever) this morning and will begin "speaking from among the bones" this afternoon. having so much time to read is heavenly.

FEELING: a bit lost having no schedule, no need to be anywhere and unsure what to do with myself all day.

WEATHER: hot and muggy with a healthy dose of smokey air. poor mount charleston is still ablaze. prayers for those fighting the fire.

WANTING: to blog about all my Swazi adventures.

NEEDING: to study grammar. prepping to teach 5th grade next year is overwhelmingly daunting. they know more than me!

WISHING: i were back in Africa with my 16 new best friends amongst the wonderful Swazi people.

THINKING: about organizing a humanitarian project benefitting Swazi children. 

ENJOYING: the comforts of home and the ease of living in America. many thanks to my bff for letting me stay with her and thus saving me from being legitimately homeless.

LOVING: "new girl" is now on Netflix. enough said.

24 Saviors and One Who Changed My Life

"Teaching."

I didn't even know what I was saying. He asked me what I was passionate about. I thought and thought some more but nothing came to mind. And then I said it. Teaching.

Was this true? Was this the one thing I was truly passionate about? Even after saying it I still didn't believe it.

---

"Are you hiring?"

I filled out the application and didn't hear anything for a month. And then in a whirlwind week of events I had an interview, got offered the job and started my new career. I didn't even have time to catch my breath. I couldn't wrap my head around it. It was surreal. I was about to enter my new life as a kindergarten teacher.

---

Fast forward three months and I can now say without hesitation that I am passionate about teaching. I get excited to go to work everyday. I am hopelessly in love with 24 children that I spend my days with. I have a co-teacher who, through simply living her life, has helped me to reevaluate my relationship with God and my commitment to my faith.

The hardest part of this new adventure is learning to let go of old dreams. It is a major paradigm shift to accept that the dreams of just a few months ago are no longer what I want and need for my future. I'm letting go of what I wanted and worked for because I realize I no longer want that.

I want my 24 little babies. I want to help them become the best people they can become. I need their hugs. I need to celebrate their accomplishments. There is nothing better than their hugs. I will never tire of the notes and pictures they give me. I am hopelessly in love.

Almost accidentally, I found my passion.

This never gets old.

Right Now

DIGGING: Having money in the bank

DRINKING: Ice water. Always ice water.

EATING: Dark chocolate with sea salt and almonds

LISTENING: Soundtrack to Le Fabuleux Destin D'Amélie Poulain

WEARING: UGG slippers (heaven!), amazing new sweatpants from Walmart (that I want to die in), t-shirt, ancient sweater coat from Old Navy (wouldn't be caught dead wearing this outside of the house)

READING: Divergent by Veronica Roth

FEELING: Ready to get in bed (and it's only 9pm)

WEATHER: Always sunny and never warm enough (sometimes I think I'll never be warm again)

WANTING: To go snowboarding with my Utah people

NEEDING: Ten more hours in each day to tackle my to-do list

WISHING: My car wasn't at the mechanics and that it is an easy, inexpensive (yeah, right) fix

THINKING: About my spring break and summer plans

ENJOYING: Weekly institute classes and digging deeper into the scriptures

LOVING: Spending my days with 24 awesome kindergarteners