Currently...

LISTENING:  to the sound of the newly repaired air conditioner cooling down the house again. cool air never felt so good.

EATING: carrots, celery and ranch dip. trying to be healthy but the ranch is probably negating my efforts.

DRINKING: nothing. should be drinking water! one can never get enough water in the desert.

WEARING: noon and i'm still in my pajamas. not proud of myself in this moment.

READING: just finished "downward facing death" (the best worst book ever) this morning and will begin "speaking from among the bones" this afternoon. having so much time to read is heavenly.

FEELING: a bit lost having no schedule, no need to be anywhere and unsure what to do with myself all day.

WEATHER: hot and muggy with a healthy dose of smokey air. poor mount charleston is still ablaze. prayers for those fighting the fire.

WANTING: to blog about all my Swazi adventures.

NEEDING: to study grammar. prepping to teach 5th grade next year is overwhelmingly daunting. they know more than me!

WISHING: i were back in Africa with my 16 new best friends amongst the wonderful Swazi people.

THINKING: about organizing a humanitarian project benefitting Swazi children. 

ENJOYING: the comforts of home and the ease of living in America. many thanks to my bff for letting me stay with her and thus saving me from being legitimately homeless.

LOVING: "new girl" is now on Netflix. enough said.

Right Now

DIGGING: Having money in the bank

DRINKING: Ice water. Always ice water.

EATING: Dark chocolate with sea salt and almonds

LISTENING: Soundtrack to Le Fabuleux Destin D'Amélie Poulain

WEARING: UGG slippers (heaven!), amazing new sweatpants from Walmart (that I want to die in), t-shirt, ancient sweater coat from Old Navy (wouldn't be caught dead wearing this outside of the house)

READING: Divergent by Veronica Roth

FEELING: Ready to get in bed (and it's only 9pm)

WEATHER: Always sunny and never warm enough (sometimes I think I'll never be warm again)

WANTING: To go snowboarding with my Utah people

NEEDING: Ten more hours in each day to tackle my to-do list

WISHING: My car wasn't at the mechanics and that it is an easy, inexpensive (yeah, right) fix

THINKING: About my spring break and summer plans

ENJOYING: Weekly institute classes and digging deeper into the scriptures

LOVING: Spending my days with 24 awesome kindergarteners

Stream of Consciousness: BOLD!

I was inspired my Marta's latest post about stream of consciousness writing.

I kind of can’t believe I did it. I also can’t stop with this boldness. It’s the new me!

I met a cute boy last weekend. I couldn’t stop looking at him, watching him in my peripheral. I even snuck (though it didn’t look too sneaky) a photo of him. Later that night I facebook stalked him (friend of a friend of a friend, you know). Yes, I’m a stalker, and a damn good one at that. I didn’t want that day’s meeting to be the last contact. After 3 days of deliberating and building up courage I decided to send him a message via facebook. I didn’t bother mentioning how I found him. He’s a guy. He probably won’t even wonder.

Once I made the decision to be uncharacteristically and ridiculously bold I acted. In fact I didn’t even spend time thinking about it because I knew I could talk myself out of it. I just did it. Bold and brazen. I emailed him, told him I’m up for getting together and left the rest to fate. We’ll see what fate does with it.

It felt good to be bold. So good in fact that I decided to be bold with 4 other boys- one I recently went on one date with, one I’d like to go on a date with, one from the past and one with whom I’ve never managed to get out of the ‘friendzone’.

I made a decision about an hour before I sent that first email. I am going to go after what I want. I’m going to make things happen in my life. When you look at all the really lucky people in the world there is one common trait. These are people who are not afraid to be bold and take risks. The risks don’t always pay off but sometimes they do. And those are great pay offs.

Of course, there is the likelihood that I’ll be rejected by some or all of these boys. And that’s ok because at least I’ll know. And once I know I’ll be able to close the door of wondering and move on, move forward.

How will YOU be uncharacteristically and ridiculously bold?

And just for funzies, here's a picture of my friends that i happen to fancy (the picture, not the friends, you know).