ran.dom.

well let's just get this out of the way first of all. ww-week 4. up 3.7lbs. i don't even want to talk about it. ok, yes i do. i had an ok week. not the best, not the worst. i blame my big gain entirely on being a girl, if you know what i mean. so fingers crossed for a huge loss next week to make up for this week (or else i'll be pissed). needless to say, i'm depressed.

i'm heading to utah in 2 hours. i registered for the slc 1/2 marathon months ago. i booked a flight weeks ago. factor in no training, lots of good stuff going on in vegas and 1/2 my fam leaving ut for the weekend and i big time struggled with the decision to go or not to go. each side had a valid arguement so 12 hrs before my flight i was still undecided. i started packing just in case. arranged for my pops to pick me up from the airport. still undecided. but this morning i said- why the hell not. utah here i come. dear 1/2 marathon, please don't kill me.

this week has been a sort of spiritual awakening for me. maybe awakening is too strong of a word but i had countless gentle reminders that i need to get myself better aligned with the spirit. it was a week in stark contrast to my weekend which, while outrageously fun, was not spirit filled (more on this in a future post with pictures). i finally listened to general conference. just listening to it reminded me that i love feeling the spirit. realized that pres. monson's stories aren't just stories, they are stories of real people. i went to institute and was taught the importance of loving that which is holy- the scriptures, the temple, the sacrament. i went to a stake r.s. training last night. not much training but lots of love and encouragement. remembered that i need to love my girls (not hard most of the time) and show them that i love them (hard most of the time). i felt the weight of my calling to a degree i haven't felt in a while. overwhelming. time to get off of autopilot (again).

consumer and i booked our flights to europe yesterday. leaving in less than a month, staying for 2 weeks. i should be super excited about this but i've been stressed about it all. the money. missing work. leaving my calling. etc. hopefully as our departure date gets closer i'll be more pumped. it's europe after all! going to all the same places i've already been which is fine but sad that i'm not going anywhere new. guess that's what next year is for. the itin is- rome, venice, paris, london, edinburgh, dublin. actually, this is going to be amazing. i'm brushing up on le francais.

have an awesome weekend everyone!