total liability

i cannot count the number of times i've signed my name in my lifetime. more often than not i've done it without much consideration. i've signed countless checks that indicate to the receiver "i don't have any money but if you contact these people, they'll stick up for me. i gave my money to these people here, then they gave me these. is that worth anything at all? i put my name on it and the amount of money i wish i had." (seinfeld)
things were a little more serious when i bought my house and had to pretend i was actually reading all those legal documents i had to sign. it was the most adult thing i'd ever done and knowing that by signing my name so many times basically meant i was committing myself to slavery for the next 30 years until the house would officially be mine. but i could handle that.
but today the thought of signing my name made me sick to my stomach. for the very first time today i stamped and signed a set of structural calculations and drawings as a professional engineer. the project itself is small (a 30 sq ft electrical room) but the liability is huge! by signing my name on those sheets i'm basically agreeing to take full responsibility for that building. which means if it falls down (not that it could happen) it's my fault! i've been structurally designing for over 5 years now and none of my buildings has fallen down so worrying so much about this tiny project didn't make much sense but having my john hancock on it made it a huge deal. it took me about an hour to get up the courage to actually sign the sheets and luckily i had my own little cheerleader (stamp stamp stamp stamp) and a photographer to get me through it. but i did it! and i gotta admit... it felt so good. it was pretty exciting. in fact it took me a while to wipe the smile off my face. there was a huge sense of satisfaction knowing that the last 12 years of school and work (minus a 2 year hiatus) have been committed to getting to this exact moment. i've arrived!