meow

OK, this totally makes me laugh and totally makes me want a cat. But, I can't get a cat because then I'll be that crazy old single lady with a cat. That just won't fly.PS- have you noticed that I haven't been doing much work the last few days? Shocking, I know.

oh wait...

maybe this is the greatest thing i've ever seen!

in the least it fills the void left in my life now that i've finished reading the HP series

Foux Da Fa Fa

Peut-etre la plus drole chose que j'ai jamias vu!

Sleep To Dream

You know that sleeping problem I've been having? I'm still trying to work that out. I can't figure out if it's because of bad sleeping habits (staying up way too late, waking up way too late, taking naps), an uncomfortable bed or if it's due to emotional/psychological problems. Probably a combination of all three.
In any case, last night I slept better than I have in a while (which really isn't saying much). I remembered that when I sleep I always dream. And since I haven't been sleeping much lately there haven't been many dreams. But, man, last night's dream stressed me out. I'm going to have to look it up in my dream encyclopedia (it's the best book I own).
So, here's what I remember:
I'd been asked to speak at a stake conference along with some other young single adults, my dad and Elder Bednar. I felt quite honored to be asked and was excited about being able to speak at the same meeting as my father. Well, the day came around and my dad and I were totally late to the meeting. I was so embarrassed as I walked up to sit on the stand while Elder Bednar was at the pulpit speaking to a full chapel and cultural hall. By the way, the chairs we had to sit on were like the old school primary chairs, the big ones. And, I didn't have time to get ready before I got to the meeting so I was wearing jeans and a tshirt. Anyway, the meeting progressed and my dad and I both got up to use the bathroom (or something, can't remember) and when we came back the meeting was over and we'd both missed our opportunity to speak. I felt awful! I'd totally failed at my assignment.
I wish that had been the end of the dream but it got worse. Later on I was in town, wearing a white sun dress and no shoes and trying to run up a hill to the center of town and I couldn't run! I hate that! I couldn't understand why my legs and feet wouldn't move like I needed them to. Serious frustration.
Anyway... anyone got any interpretations?

Push It!

BEST BIRTHDAY PARTY EVER!! I'm so not even joking.
Monday night my friends Melissa, Patrick and Joe had a joint birthday party.
The theme was "Push It" based on the early 90s hit by Salt-n-Pepa.
They rented out the Crystal Palace skating rink, everyone dressed up in their best early 90s fashions and we all went a little crazy. Seriously, best party ever.

The party favors were awesome animal print slap bracelets and the totally classic "Push It" party soundtrack. Here's the playlist:
Push It - Salt-n-Pepa
Humpty Dance - Digital Underground
Can't Touch This - MC Hammer
Waterfalls - TLC
Regulate - Warren G
Kiss From A Rose - Seal
Straight Up - Paula Abdul
Summertime - DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince
The Sign - Ace of Base
Good Vibrations - Marky Mark & The Funky Bunch
(Everything I Do) I Do It For You - Bryan Adams
I Like Big Butts - Sir Mix-a-Lot
This is How We Do It - Montell Jordan
Motownphilly - Boyz II Men
Insane In The Membrain - Cypress Hill
Jump - Kris Kross
I'm Too Sexy - Right Said Fred

Here are the photos I stole from other people since I still don't have my compy and all my photos are stuck on my camera. Yes, I do have crimped hair with scrunchies and yes, those are pink stirrup pants I'm wearing. I looked amazing.

The entire insane group. Yes, all these adults did the hokey pokey.

Mojica and Me

Budinger (aka Zach Morris)

Mojica and Missy (aka Left Eye)

Patrick and Budinger

Katie and Me

Tifani and Jessie (never mind the swoob)

Me, Jessie and Tifani

Jessica, Nicole, Melissa, Tifani, Jessie, Adam (totally not dressed up. lame!), Debbie, Me

Dave

Jared, Budinger, some guy, Patrick, Chris and Joe

Joe and Melissa

Joe (maybe the cutest kid ever)

You're all jealous, aren't you?

My Girl SABRA!

Ah YEAH!
My girl Sabra took the crown! We all screamed when Cat announced her name. Mostly because we were all in a panic that Danny might win and if that happened then we'd all have to disown america and move to a different country, which as Tif put it, would have been very inconvenient for making it to work on friday. But, all is well in the world because the rightful winner won.
Confessions from last night:

• I cried more than three times during the finale
• I CRIMPED my hair for the very first time IN MY LIFE (not sure if I'm ashamed or proud of this) in test preps for the most amazing bday party ever (you'll see photos. don't you worry)

more of the dream

i just remembered that in my dream last night, while i was hanging out with the sytycd kids, i also met PHARRELL. he was hot. and nice.

so nervous!

I'm so excited for tonight! I'm so nervous about tonight! I have no idea who is going to win (though if it's danny i'm going to disown america). Last night I dreamt that I was hanging out with the SYTYCD dancers all night! It was great.

I really feel like there is no clear front runner for tonight's finale. I feel like Sabra should win because she's been amazing at everything and is the most versitile dancer of the group. But I just don't know! Ah!

As much as I love Neil I just don't feel like he's going to win and I'm fine with that. I think my very favorite moment of the entire series is was last night when he said, "Shane was all, like, asking me to be sexy and stuff. And I was like, 'Shane, that's like asking Nigel to be British.'"
Also... Neil is totally my #1 friend on MySpace as of today. Here are some hot hunky photos for your viewing pleasure:

Purgatory

I haven’t been sleeping well lately. It finally dawned on me that the reason I can’t sleep is because I’m missing “My Person”.

See, I hate sleeping alone. Hate it. That’s probably why I sleep with 5 pillows, a big down comforter and the TV on. It’s an attempt to simulate having someone else there with me. I love cuddling, spooning, whatever you want to call it. I want to spoon every night with “my person”.

It’s not just when I’m trying to sleep that I feel that way. Even though I have a great family, amazing friends and keep myself busier than I can handle most of the time I still feel lonely; at church, at parties, at the grocery store, amongst friends, everywhere. It’s not that I’m alone or distancing myself from the crowd. On the contrary, I try to connect with people and form meaningful relationships. But, there is still an emptiness inside that I know will only be filled by “my person”. There is a longing for companionship, unconditional love. It’s a constant aching that I try to stifle because I have little or no control over whether or not that void gets filled. I put this issue in God’s hands (yet still manage to pester him every night to make something happen) and just wait (patiently? Maybe not so much).

In my quest to find “my person” I seem, all too often, to get stuck in relationship purgatory- the pre-DTR status- where I can never tell if I’m going up or down until it’s too late and I get sentenced to heartbreak. I get stuck figuring out if this is someone I date? Someone I’m dating? My boyfriend? I never know. Call me clueless. It keeps happening yet, I keep going back for more.

I’m in that relationship purgatory right now waiting to see if I’ll proceed onto happiness or heartbreak. See, I just started dating a guy who we’ll call Jason… because that’s his name. And I’m quite sure he doesn’t read this blog. But, I kind of secretly hope he does read this so that he’ll freak out that I’m even thinking about him and marriage in the same thought, then I’ll freak out and get embarrassed, then years from now when we’re married and have beautiful children we’ll have a great story to tell the kids about how one time mommy blogged about daddy and it almost ruined everything but, then, they realized it was all a hilarious misunderstanding and we’ll all just laugh and laugh and laugh… ok maybe I get carried away…

So anyway… Jason. I have no idea where things stand. In my version of the story we’re “dating”. But, because he lives in Salt Lake and I live in Vegas we’ve only been out twice. Though the second time we didn’t so much “go out” as we just “made out” (see I told you the bra works!!) on my parents' couch (which is an entirely different post in and of itself about dating in my parents house at my age). But we’ve chatted a lot. I’ve gotten to know him well enough to know that I want to know him better and can see a potential future together. However, Jason is the slowest... mover... ever... (My sister contends that this is a good thing for me since I’m totally the type who would rush into a relationship and get engaged after 3 weeks... and she’s right.) He’s been hurt in the past so I understand his apprehension about getting into another relationship. But, hey, we’ve all been hurt. Get over it! Perhaps this is what I get for dating long distance- a relationship that refuses to follow normal dating patterns and progression. Whatev…

Technology definitely isn’t helping our situation either. IMing and texting are too convenient and they’ve stunted our relationship growth. The guy refuses to call.
In the immortal words of fiddy:

Aayooh
I'm tired of using technology, why don't you sit down on top of me
Aayooh
I'm tired of using technology, I need you right in front of me

The man knows what he’s talking about.

So here I stand. Am I going to marry Jason? Honestly, I have no idea. Is he going to be "My Person"? All I can do is shrugg my shoulders and say, “we’ll see what happens.” But, for the first time, I really like not knowing. I’m embracing the excitement of having a potential in sight and the stress of figuring out where we’re headed.

you want a post? i'll give you a post!

i kind of love you all right now (well, those of you who commented on my last post). i am sorry for depriving you posts for so long (thereby also depriving you of my wit and... well, whatever else it is you come here for). i now present you with some of the random things that have been happening in my life and in my head for the last little while:

my laptop had to go to the hospital for a few weeks and i'm still a bit panicky about it. i may or may not (may) be addicted to the internet so having no access to it at home is quite unsettling. but it's not just the internet that i miss. i am also unable to upload photos (and there are some good ones to be seen) or listen to music at home. it's horrible. at least i have my work computer and can stay connected to the world during the day. tho... i'm not getting any work done at work because i'm too busy internetting. oh well.

god saw fit to bless me with a lot of hair. i have more hair on my head than 10 average heads combined. i've always been grateful for that. but along with blessing me with a lot of hair on my head, god also blessed (cursed?) me with thick eyebrows, arm hair, leg hair and... well, i'll stop there. so, i got my arms waxed today (sister you would be proud). i got tired of having man hair on my arms. it hurt (surprise, surprise) but not as bad as i'd expected it to. now my arms are silky smooth and it's kind of tripping me out a bit. they don't even look like my arms anymore.
i'd show you my before/after photos but, like i said, can't get them off my camera for a few more weeks. anyway, i kept thinking about the jerry seinfeld bit about women, waxing and spiders:

I will never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider.

that's just how it is!

i am so in love with neil from sytycd. he's like your friend's hot little brother that you'd feel no guilt about making out with. i requested him as a friend on myspace. haha! i'm so going to put him in my top eight as soon as he accepts me. i voted for him last night. it was the first time i've ever voted for anyone on sytycd. that might be surprising considering how much i blog about sytycd. in fact... i think he warrants a photo. here's the one tif sent me this morning.
nevermind the fact that he looks like he's walking a little like bigfoot here. he's still hot without his shirt on. swoon...

and speaking of hot guys... is it weird that i think bubba sparxxx is kinda hot too? yeah. it's weird. oh well.

and speaking of bubba... i'm feeling like a gangsta thug princess today for some reason. here's my current playlist:
Let's Go - Trick Daddy
Oh Timbaland - Timbaland
Some Cut - Trillville & Cutty
Ms New Booty - Bubba Sparxxx, Mr ColliPark & Ying Yang Twins
Get Low - Lil John & The East Side Boyz
anyone else got any suggestions??

warning: this is the point in this post where you'll want to stop reading if you're a) my dad or b) someone who doesn't want to know about my new bra.

ok. i admit it. i'm totally obsessed with my breasts. i'd show you a photo but there's that whole computer problem and the fact that i don't think it's a good idea to posts photos of my breasts on my blog... though that might up my male readership. hmm...
anyway. here's the story. i bought some sweet new jackets at the Nordstrom Anniversary Sale (that weren't on sale... doh!) because not only were they totally cute but they made my boobs look great. i wore one of them to church the following sunday, looked down and thought, "dang. my boobs look good... but i'll bet they could look better!" so the next day i set off to victoria's secret (i love vics) in search of a new push up bra. i'd never considered a push up before since i'm a fairly well endowed C cup so i never thought it necessary. well assets aren't really assets unless you know how to use them and girls- i now know how to use them! mwuhaha! thanks to my new adjustable cleavage bra (always on the tightest setting for me *wink*) i'm pretty sure i could take over the world or at least bring all the straight men into submission.

sigh

i have serious writers block.
i don't even feel like blogging.
i haven't written in my journal for a month and a half.
that's equivalent to about 3 eternities for me.
i don't know what to do.
i have too much stuff in my head that needs to get out
but i can't seem to force myself to write it all.
sigh.