and they pray

you know when you say you're going to do something then you forget about it? that's kind of what's been happening with my weekly sabbath post. doh! but, since i was on vacation the previous 2 sundays of this month i figure it was ok to vacay from the posting thing. but, now i have no excuse. anyway... on with it.

i've had my current church calling for the past 2-1/2 years (i know, tell me about it!) and i still have no idea what i'm doing. in anything else in life i'd think 2-1/2 years is plenty of time to figure things out. but in this case, i'm totally fine not knowing what i'm doing because it's not really my call. it's the Lord's. this is His business and the only thing i need to know is what He wants me to do. so, i pray. hard. everyday i ask Him to guide me to do whatever it is that He needs me to do that day. this is what i've learned: it works (at least in this instance... i still have yet to figure out how prayer, faith & the Lord's will for my life all work but that's a different post for a different day *sigh*).

it wasn't the first time it's happened, but sunday i had 2 separate moments at church where i knew what was coming out of my mouth wasn't coming from my brain. those words were the Lord's and i was extremely humbled and grateful that i was able be an instrument for Him to bless others (i hope).

as i was leaving church i joked to one of my favorite sisters that she needs to start praying for me. at this she replied, with a straight face and a serious tone, "i pray for you every day. and every time i go to the temple i put your name on the prayer roll." to which i replied, "....." i was speechless. i finally uttered a "thank you" which seemed entirely not enough for what i felt. even now, after having time to process it, i still can't even put into words how much i appreciate those prayers- hers and others- and why. especially why. it means everything.

i certainly don't serve in my calling for laud and honor. in fact, some might say it's a thankless job. that's not true. there are plenty of sweet rewards for what i get to do. but i'm not going to lie. it does feel good when people tell me i'm doing a good job. i know i'm not the best at what i do and certainly there are many others who could be doing a much better job than i'm doing. but the thanks, encouragement and especially the prayers i do get are sweet rewards that help me remember to do my best. and that's all the Lord has asked me to do. my best. not some one else's best.

through humble prayer, diligent preparation, and faithful service, we can succeed in our sacred callings
~thomas s monson

i have been driven many times to my knees by the overwhelming conviction that i had no where else to go
~abraham lincoln